Earlier this summer I had the oppurtunity to go on a camping trip. After setting up and building a fire we were all just sitting around relaxing by the fire. At this moment, my eyes were drawn to a small black beetle that was walking around the edges of the fire pit. It was obvious the his destination was to get to the other side of the pit. However, the gigantic flames of this fire stood in his way. He began his journey, entering into the deep pile of ash. He actually lost his footing several times and on one occasion ended up flat on his back. Frantically, he began rocking back and forth and moving his legs in different directions trying to flip himself over. By now this little beetle had my undivided attention. He finally was able to flip himself over, however, he was now completely dirty from his fall. This would not stop him, he was going to get to the other side of that fire pit. This time he decided to try another technique, he approached one of the logs that could possibly lead him to his destination. The little black beetle began the climb up the log, every single step bringing him closer to the fire. I could tell that he was beginning to feel the heat. He would go half way and then turn rapidly and go back to where it was safe. But each time, this little black beetle would turn around and head back up the log, getting closer and closer to the flames. Finally, he built up the courage to make one finally dash across the log. He made it quite farther then I thought he would, but he was doomed. He fell. This poor, stupid, little black beetle fell into what looked like the same ash he had slipped in before. But this time he didn’t move, in fact, he was instantly fried. There was even a slight popping sound and the heat from the coals that were hidden underneath the ash cooked this poor little beetle to death.
I have reflected on this memory many times over the last few weeks. So many times I am that stupid, dumb, little black beetle. I have something I want to accomplish. I have a goal for myself. I have my plans. I do not stop to ask God whether or not they go along with his, I simply proceed right on ahead. Many times, the danger signs are evident. I can feel the heat growing stronger, so I stop and take a couple steps back. But eventually I become accustomed to the heat, get a little braver and take a few more steps closer to what I think will make me happy. But, like the stupid, little black beetle, inevitably I fall.
This weekend I came to the point where I realized that my way was not working. I was tired of trying and falling. I decided it was time to give up. Instead of giving up and handing things over to God, I just gave up. I lost heart. I no longer cared. Oh, there were probably visible signs, but for the most part, it was all inside. I didn’t run out and do crazy things in rebellion, I just quit. In my heart and soul I had had enough. But, I have a true Father, who sees past the outside and into my heart. He saw my need, he saw a son sinking amidst the storms of life and sent out his rescue team. It was nothing extravagant, yet to me, it was huge. A simple word of encouragement from a friend, a reminder that if I ever needed anything they were there for me, the gathering of a body of believer at a coffee shop singing and praising God together; but the final straw that broke me was a text message from a friend explaining that they appreciate me and value me as their friend. That’s all it took, someone to share that they care and that they believe in me.
Tears come to my eyes as I realize that if a friend cares and values me, then how much more does my heavenly Father love and care for me. How valuable am I to Him? How foolish to think my plan is better, that I can survive without Him, when He cares and promises me nothing but good. In the car today, these two songs came over the radio, both of them touched me deeply as I once again am reminded that my way will lead to being burned up, like the little beetle, but God’s way will lead to eternal satisfaction and joy.
Empty Me
- by Chris Sligh -
I’ve had just enough of the spotlight when it burns bright
To see how it gets in the blood.
And I’ve tasted my share of the sweet life and the wild ride
And found a little is not quite enough.
I know how I can stray
And how fast my heart could change.
Empty me of the selfishness inside
Every vain ambition and the poison of my pride
And any foolish thing my heart holds to
Lord empty me of me so I can be filled with you.
I’ve seen just enough of the quick buys of the best lies
To know how prodigals can be drawn away.
I know how I can stray
And how fast my heart could change.
Empty me of the selfishness inside
Every vain ambition and the poison of my pride
And any foolish thing my heart holds to
Lord empty me of me so I can be filled with you.
Cause everything is a lesser thing
Compared to you, compared to you.
Cause everything is a lesser thing
compared to you. So, I surrender all!
Empty me of the selfishness inside
Every vain ambition and the poison of my pride
Empty me of the selfishness inside
Every vain ambition and the poison of my pride
And any foolish thing my heart holds to
Lord empty me of me so I can be
Lord empty me of me so I can be filled with you.
Oh, filled with you.
Empty me.
Come to Jesus
- by Chris Rice -
Weak and wounded sinner
Lost and left to die
O, raise your head, for love is passing by
Come to Jesus
Come to Jesus
Come to Jesus and live!
Now your burden’s lifted
And carried far away
And precious blood has washed away the stain, so
Sing to Jesus
Sing to Jesus
Sing to Jesus and live!
And like a newborn baby
Don’t be afraid to crawl
And remember when you walk
Sometimes we fall…so
Fall on Jesus
Fall on Jesus
Fall on Jesus and live!
Sometimes the way is lonely
And steep and filled with pain
So if your sky is dark and pours the rain, then
Cry to Jesus
Cry to Jesus
Cry to Jesus and live!
O, and when the love spills over
And music fills the night
And when you can’t contain your joy inside, then
Dance for Jesus
Dance for Jesus
Dance for Jesus and live!
And with your final heartbeat
Kiss the world goodbye
Then go in peace, and laugh on Glory’s side, and
Fly to Jesus
Fly to Jesus
Fly to Jesus and live!
Thanks for the testimony. Like I shared Wed nite, I know the feeling. God is always good.
By: Bruce on September 16, 2008
at 10:25 pm